My parents taught me to set limits, appreciate what I have, and to be kind to others

Are you an only child? If you are, have you ever had someone tell you that you don’t seem like one? As an only child myself, people have said this to me numerous times. But behind this phrase actually lies a strong and negative stigma that only children don’t deserve—the only child syndrome. 

Only child syndrome is a belief that only children are bossy, spoiled, privileged, and antisocial. This negative stigma is entirely based on misinformation, and not fully understanding the root cause of how someone can become spoiled—whether they grew up as an only child or with siblings. Assuming that someone is spoiled just because they’re an only child is judgemental and unfair. 

A lot of people tend to believe that only children are spoiled and selfish because parents overprotect them, giving them everything they want whenever they want. For one, my parents certainly did not coddle me, and did not hand me anything I wanted. Instead, they taught me to set limits, appreciate what I have, and to be kind and compassionate to others.

A study by Toni Falbo, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, surveyed a total of 200 subjects. He found that the only difference between children with siblings and without is that only children have a stronger bond with their parents. They did not show traits of antisocial or spoiled behavior. Another study by Dutch psychologists found that only children proved to be more mature during their adolescence, more sensitive socially, more fastidious, and more cultured. However, according to self-reports, only children appeared somewhat less sociable but did not differ from children with siblings in terms of calmness, impulsiveness, self-consciousness, drive, vigor or leadership.

According to Make Your Kids Smarter by Erika Karres, “Only children typically have strong personalities and know who they are because their needs aren’t overlooked, and they don’t compete for attention. Onlies are often creative and focused, because they need to learn to entertain themselves.”

In the last 100 years, researchers have conducted various studies on only children to find out whether the stereotype is true. Since the 1970s, the majority of only child studies have debunked the existence of a “syndrome.” 

It’s time to put the only child syndrome to rest. Being an only child is not the only factor that shapes a person’s character.